AN OPEN LETTER TO DR JANE NGUYEN

Hello Dr Jane,

That’s one large and messy load of bullshit you dumped on me at the Alfred’s psychiatric outpatient clinic…

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But today I just want to discuss one aspect of it.

Where did you get the idea I hold the belief I received messages (secret messages addressed just to me) from a TV program or programs?

I think this is just your invention.

I think you thought, hey, he thinks he received secret messages from the media – from two newspapers and one radio station, to be exact – so what does it matter if I throw in some TV programs, TV being my favourite form of media?

And it’s not a laughing matter, Dr Jane. Perhaps you’ve led astray some psychiatrists with your little invention. Perhaps your mistake has been repeated on down the line with disastrous effects.

Yesterday I theorized that the Chinese whispers effect was partly responsible for the fact that my image has been warped beyond recognition by you and other psychiatrists at the Alfred and elsewhere, leaving me a very pale and sick version of myself.

As I put it to Dr Chait, the author of this report on me…

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…by the time you came to see me, after you read Forensicare’s caricaturistic report on me and the caricaturistic reports made by the psychiatrists at the Alfred I was forced to see before you, each of whom no doubt added a false touch of their own to my image, I was a caricature warped beyond recognition and thanks to you I was twisted even further out of shape.

And earlier today I wrote to Dr Sadeep Saraf, the head shrink at the Alfred’s psychiatric outpatient clinic after Dr Robert Shields, to suggest that he too had fallen victim to the Chinese whispers effect and been led astray by the corrupt Dr Chait.

As I put it to Dr Sadeep…

…I noticed that you, after the corrupt Dr Chait had come and gone at the Alfred’s outpatient clinic, not only used an exact same phrase as Dr Chait in a report on me, namely “harassing Paul Harris care of Triple R”, but appear to have made the same truly unbelievably stupid mistake as Dr Chait in reporting that I’m not just delusional to think Lawrence Money and Jim Schembri attacked me in The Age, and delusional to think Paul Harris and Jim Schembri attacked me on 3RRR FM, but delusional to think the Herald Sun attacked me too…

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I then called Dr Sadeep a mindless conformist, along with you and all the shrinks I was forced to see before you and have been forced to see since, and said such staggering displays of stupidity can only be explained by the fact that the shrinks at the Alfred have it in for me.

But I won’t go there again in this letter.

The main purpose of this letter to you is to suggest a different direction for the Alfred that might help prevent other psychiatrists and psychiatric patients from falling victim to the Chinese whispers effect.

The cure couldn’t be more obvious, of course, and the Alfred will no doubt ignore my suggestion, but fuck your “treating teams” for the most part.

The Alfred should continue to operate with a frequent turnover of junior psychiatrists, giving our young shrinks vital experience, but each junior psychiatrist should work on cases in isolation.

That means no reading of the reports written by the junior shrinks who came before.

That means no “teamwork” with the overbearing head shrink at the clinic – who might also lead impressionable young psychiatrists astray – besides writing your reports for him or her.

Each junior treating shrink should have no idea what the other junior treating shrinks thought or think and each should never have any idea what the head shrink has thought or thinks.

In other words, each treating junior psychiatrist should bring a pair of fresh eyes to each case.

Until next time,

M.J. Hudson.